My wife and I got married last October, and after the wedding we decided to forego birth control and try for a baby. I’m 30 years old, and we are in a good spot economically. I told her if we wanted kids; let’s get rolling. I don’t want to be 40 years old with a newborn! No offense to those that go that route, it’s just not for me. I want to have a kid while I still have the energy to keep up with it.
Neither of us expected this quite so soon, but that’s life. At first I was pretty floored. I’ve never felt particularly ‘fatherly’ or paternal. I could always see myself being happy with or without kids. Needless to say, we weren’t really trying that hard yet. Sounds like nature had different plans though.
In late January she seemed a little off, and I quipped, “You’re probably pregnant”. I got home from work that day, and low-and-behold she thrust a positive test in front of my face belting, “I’m pregnant!”
Ever the pragmatic type, I told her let’s be sure and do a couple more tests. Also, I was semi-panicking on the inside, so I wanted to be triple-sure she was pregnant. I mean, we were technically ready to have a kid, but I think a certain amount of ‘oh shit’ creeps in no matter where you are in life.
Well, after a grand total of THREE tests, I was convinced that we had a baby growing. Either that or all of the pregnancy test sticks we purchased came from the same lot, and they were all defective. That seemed like grasping at that point though, so I accepted the baby as fact.
I waited to make the news public until we found out the gender and were sure (or as sure as one can be at this stage) that everything looked good. Not surprisingly, it’s a boy (my family is overrun with boys).
Upon hearing the news that it was a boy, my dad said sarcastically, “Well I can’t believe it.” He then noted that there was a saying in our family, “Don’t fill your yard with boys trying to get a girl in the house.”
I had never heard that before, but it seems accurate.
As I ponder the consequences financially, I’m tempted to rant and rave like a lunatic about the follies of our country’s paternity / maternity leave culture. However, for once, I am going to take the high road.
This is a joyous occasion and I don’t want to focus on the negative. In late September there will be a little person spewing forth from my wife that will be entirely dependent on us. That’s nuts. However, I know both of us will do the best we can. I might hate cubicles and corporate politics, but right now I am thanking the lord above that I at least have a job with health insurance.
I recognize that there are perks to working in the corporate world. It might be stressful and full of bullshit that drives me mad, but there is also a certain peace of mind that comes with it in the form of benefits and a steady paycheck. I am able to support my future family, and still make enough to save for early financial independence because of my job.
The majority of sole-proprietors don’t have that luxury. Most of them work worse hours than me for less pay, and without any benefits like health insurance or 401k match. My long term goal of financial independence in my 40’s still stands, my cubicle life crisis is alive and well, and my loathing of corporate bureaucracy remains intact. But, focusing solely on the negative and ignoring the positive is neither healthy nor wise.
I am no dummy. 90% of the world’s population would kill to be in my shoes, and I am thankful for that every day.